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A decade after my marriage had fallen apart, and around the time after my third teenager was ready en route for fly the coop, years after my last ineffective 'date' or my after everything else 'boyfriend', at a time when a good number of my friends were gay after that I spent a lot of age envying them, saying things to for my part like 'I wish I was a lesbian', there came a long chill when something started to hum after that I heard it, deep inside. It kept me up at night. It made me want to look by women gasp. It made me adjust up a man's profile on LavaLife so I could creep the women there.