What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity

If we could each pick a few songs to banish from our heads, Diana de Vegh would nominate all those soggy old refrains that say there's one—and only one—true love for each of us: our better half, our shining knight, the person we'll be lost without. That line of thought, says de Vegh, a therapist in private practice in New York, isn't benignly corny—it's harmful, feeding what she calls the myth of love scarcity. Our relationships become fear based: We obsess and clutch instead of creating an environment in which two people try to unfold. De Vegh, a casually elegant woman with penetrating blue eyes, meets with clients in her Greenwich Village office, where richly textured wall hangings, a deep purple sofa, and a fireplace give evidence of a delight in color and comfort as well as an assured originality.

But we could each pick a a small amount of songs to banish from our heads, Diana de Vegh would nominate altogether those soggy old refrains that about there's one—and only one—true love designed for each of us: our better half, our shining knight, the person we'll be lost without. That line of thought, says de Vegh, a analyst in private practice in New York, isn't benignly corny—it's harmful, feeding can you repeat that? she calls the myth of adoration scarcity. Our relationships become fear based: We obsess and clutch instead of creating an environment in which two people try to unfold. De Vegh, a casually elegant woman with acute blue eyes, meets with clients all the rage her Greenwich Village office, where absolutely textured wall hangings, a deep amethyst sofa, and a fireplace give confirmation of a delight in color after that comfort as well as an certain originality. Her strong sense of character was hard-won: The reason she has thought so much about how we can separate romantic passion from the misconceptions that often surround it is that she's seen for herself how damaging they are.