‘I chased an older woman for a long time and we got married – but now she’s 70’

Photograph: iStock. She was sophisticated, stunningly beautiful and seemed beyond my reach. She was also 18 years older than me, but then it did not seem to be a problem. I chased her for a long time and, as I was lucky enough to make a lot of money, I was able to treat her to all kinds of luxuries. She was very wary at the time, saying that the age difference was too much and she was worried that she would regret it later. I brushed all this off as I was blindingly in love and, eventually, we got married and for many years it was brilliant and we were totally into each other. I am no longer attracted to her physically and she is not interested in sex — in fairness, she probably has been pretending to have an interest for a long time. Answer: It feels that you are paralysed in your relationship and this may be mirrored by your partner who is now afraid that if she challenges you or admits her insecurity she will drive you away.